When friendships change...

Discussion in 'Relationships Repository' started by hadassah_28, Sep 28, 2011.

  1. hadassah_28

    hadassah_28 I am His

    Sep 27, 2011
    What do you do when a friendship changes?

    My friend and I have been friends for 8 years. We knew each other since grade 8 (high school freshman) but got to be best friends in grade 9 (sophomore year). We were both committed christian girls at the time we met, prayed together, went on easter conventions together, basically we in a godly and edifying friendship.Things began to change when we finished high school and I went elsewhere to study for my degree- she fell pregnant as a university 1st year.

    From then on it was the dramas of her and her fathers baby that took precedence while I came back to continue with my studies in my home city. With her and her boyfriends issues our friendship revolved less around building ourselves as young women in Christ and more about 'be with someone who you like whether he is saved or unsaved and whatever problems you face you will work it out...somehow'. Its really started to show this year when I've started to hang out with some girls that I've connected with in the church that I've recently planted myself in.

    My friend has basically said that I'm 'confused and everywhere' because I hang out more with my other friends than her. We've changed...
    Changed in the sense that what we related to in our outlook on life has changed. For her it would seem that worldly activities have become more appealing and for me it doesn't anymore. I'm not saying in the least bit that I'm perfect. I've been a backslider, a VERY rebellious one but returned to the Fathers heart.

    She says that I should make a decision on who I want to hang out with because this back and forth thing I'm doing 'irritates' her. I'm afraid that we have drifted because its our season to do so and God is sending us into different destinies
    I need honest counsel :( Help
  2. thunderbirdbw

    thunderbirdbw New Member

    Feb 16, 2012
    That's a horrible position to be in and I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. :/ I recently lost my best friend, as well, although for very different reasons and I totally understand what it feels like.
    I think that, in this situation, you need to pray and ask God to guide you. I know that's the cliche Christian advice, so to speak, but it's really all you can do. I think God may surprise you. He may say, as far as I can see, one of three things. Support her and be her friend. Do not be her friend. Or help her out.
    The Lord has a purpose and He will work good through every bad thing that happens here.
    But there's no reason, in my opinion, you can't try to do the right thing while you're in prayer and waiting for guidance. You have to start somewhere and so long as you don't go against what you understand to be His Will, I say go for it.
    What I mean is this:
    If you think it prudent to talk to her and explain that, basically, you can't be her friend because the relationship only seems harmful to you both and you don't believe for reasons [1] [2] and [3] that you should continue your friendship, then do that. Unless you understand God's Will directing you otherwise that is. If you get in the car to meet up with your friend and tell her this and God doesn't want you to, He'll make you know it. He'll stop you or show you some reason you shouldn't.
    If you think you should work hard to continue the friendship and want to try to mend any burned bridges by resolving things over a smoothie with your friend, then do that. IF that's what you understand God's Will to be, or at least not be against. If God doesn't want that to happen, He'll stop you.

    So really, that was probably like super jumbled and a bad response. It made sense in my head and I hope it helped you. :)
    Definitely praying for your situation and for strength for you.

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