Is kissing a sin?

Discussion in 'Biblical Hermeneutics' started by rayray2996, Feb 12, 2012.

  1. rayray2996

    rayray2996 New Member

    MY whole life I have known that pre-marital sex, or any type of intercourse, is a sin. Recently though, I heard that kissing is a sin. After that I started to notice that alot of christian people don't kiss before their married, I even visited a website that has multiple verses that imply that kissing is a sin. For example,
    Galatians 5:16 But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh I just wanted some insight from other people

    Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

    Is the bible saying that kissing is a sin or just sex? Is kissing considered "feeding the flesh"? Are you "sexually immoral" if you kiss before you're married? I just want some opinions from other christian people so any comment is great. :shy:
  2. Zipster

    Zipster Captain Controversy Staff Member

    I've found this to be one of those personal things that people usually decide upon individually. The argument can be made kissing is sinful because of the whole gratifying the flesh thing, but - I personally think that it's a stretch, and by the same logic, hugging would also be a sin, as would any number of other physical things.

    So, I would say that, No, kissing is not a sin if it is done within a proper relationship. If you are dating/courting/whatever someone, and you love them, then I see nothing wrong with kissing.
  3. Marlynx24

    Marlynx24 New Member

    Kissing is not a sin but can lead to sinful thoughts and actions. Waiting til marriage for even a kiss can be something really special in my opinion. :)
  4. rayray2996

    rayray2996 New Member

    thx for the replies and opinions :bunny::)
  5. LauraNicole

    LauraNicole Well-Known Member

    I don't think kissing is a sin. However, you should wait to kiss someone special. I had my first kiss when I was 15 and it was a terrible experience. So bad, I didn't kiss anyone else for another 7 years. That was better, technique wise, but I had no feelings for the guy. He was my friend, and we didn't talk to each other for 2 years after the awkwardness invaded our friendship.

    Now I am 24 years old and dating a wonderful man. He's my best friend and the love of my life. And kissing him is... well. So good, there aren't any words to accurately describe how I feel.

    Looking back, I'm sad that I had given in to my desire to feel normal by kissing guys I didn't have any feelings for. I don't beat myself up over it, but I do appreciate how meaningful my kisses with Mike are.
    My advice for the younger members of the forum: wait to kiss. At least until you're with someone you love. Someone you love more than yourself. I didn't love the other guys. I didn't even like them. And I certainly didn't take their feelings into consideration. That's what I regret.

    For some people, that might mean waiting until marriage. I do think that's very romantic. But it's not for everyone. So in short, I second what Nick said.
  6. TehPanda

    TehPanda SuperManda Mentor

    I, too, echo much of what has already been said. I do not know if it is actually accurate to say that alot of Christian couples choose not to kiss before marriage. In actuality, I personally don't know any. I know that those that want to do that exist, and I don't see anything wrong with this practice. However, I do see it as a very personal thing.

    Let me compare it to something else -- there are many women that do not wear pants. They do it for modesty's sake. They were dresses or skirts -- of good length. There is nothing wrong with this. However, there are also plenty of women that wear pants and are also modest with it. It's a personal thing.

    I had my first kiss when I was 17. The guy is long gone, but it was still special for the moment. It was. I won't say that it was something horrible, regrettable, awful or anything. It was something special -- very sweet actually. But, I'll admit I've kissed my fair share of regrettable men but that is a different story. Ha!

    No, I don't think kissing is a sin. Can kissing open the door to other desires? Sure it can. Does that mean that it is a sin automatically because of that? No, it doesn't. There is porn readily available on the internet -- and cable. Yet, I don't think TV is evil or the internet. Having a couch can make a spot that is very conducive to being very lazy -- it doesn't mean having a couch is a bad thing either.

    I will say this, though. If you haven't thought about it before -- ask yourself this question before you kiss someone. "What am I saying with this kiss?" Are you trying to say, "I care about you."? If so, do you think this is the BEST way to convey that feeling? Think about it. Make sure that what you are TRYING to mean or say with a kiss actually MERITS the action of that kiss. In other words, a kiss is special -- and should be treated as such. Don't give them away to anyone.

    Amanda
  7. rayray2996

    rayray2996 New Member

    I never thought of that that way before. thx for the reply :)
  8. dreamergirl818

    dreamergirl818 God's Child

    Some of what I post here will be a little bit of a repeat from others, but I also have some of my own points that will be incorporating them, so stick with me here!

    Everyone has different weaknesses. Everyone is set off by different things. Different stimuli will cause various reactions among people. This fact is part of what makes every human being unique. Some people are easily tempted to use swear words; others are prone to fall for stealing 'little stuff.' The important thing is to know your weaknesses so that you can work on them and pray for strength. When you know what to watch for, Satan has a harder time coercing you into sinning.

    I think you probably know where I am going with this. Some people genuinely believe that it is wrong to kiss before marriage. I know that sometimes, kissing can cause people to stumble into sin. However, I know that this is not the case for everyone. A perfect example would be my mother. She kissed other men before she married my dad, and she even kissed him before they were married. But they both stayed pure.

    It is good that you are asking these questions, because it is necessary for you to make this decision at some point. And once you make it, stick with it. James 1:8 says that "A double minded man is unstable in all his ways." If you have a conviction about something, hold fast to it. You don't want to be a hypocrite who says one thing but quickly changes their mind when it suits their purpose. I'm not saying that you are like this, by the way. I'm just trying to warn you against doing this. It is a fairly easy thing to do, especially if you have people around you who are constantly saying you are wrong.

    As for my conviction on it: I think it's okay. I have never been kissed, and I would not wish to kiss someone unless it were under these circumstance: I was serious about him and expected to be engage shortly, or it were part of a play and I couldn't really get out of it.

    I hope this ha been a useful post. :smile:

    To God be all glory!
    Elizabeth
  9. thunderbirdbw

    thunderbirdbw New Member

    It can be

    I have a very close friend who often struggles with lust. You know how I thinke veryone kinda has that one sin that just really gets em? Well his is lust. And for him, kissing before marriage IS a sin. He's done it, yeah. But for him it puts him in a mental state he shouldn't be in with someone he's not married.
    For me, it is not necessarily a sin. I have kissed. I had no feelings for the guy and it was not good. I'm 15 now and I want to wait until I'm engaged to kiss. I think that that is a good balance between marriage and dating and I want to wait until it's really special. :)
    I'm ashamed that I may get my husband's first kiss, but he will never have mine. :/
    :sigh:
  10. LauraNicole

    LauraNicole Well-Known Member

    I had the same guilt and worry over that. What my amazing boyfriend said on the subject: it may not be my first kiss, but it's the first meaningful kiss.
  11. thunderbirdbw

    thunderbirdbw New Member

    :D Awe!! That's super sweet and cute. :D I like that a LOT. :)
  12. CadillacCowboy

    CadillacCowboy New Member

    You could say the same thing about premarital sex. If it doesn't mean anything why kiss at all? The answer is pretty apparent and it does go against God's word. I've made the decision to not kiss before marriage and I wouldn't want a bride who had kissed a bunch of guys she thought were insignificant or meaningless.:cowboy:
  13. dreamergirl818

    dreamergirl818 God's Child

    The difference between those two is that the Bible never commands us not to kiss. I'm not saying that your convictions are wrong--they are your convictions. Not everyone has them though, and to equate kissing with premarital sex is making it sound as if it has been labeled by God as a sin, which it has not.
    LauraNicole likes this.
  14. CadillacCowboy

    CadillacCowboy New Member

    Does the bible ever get more specific then the phrase "sexual immorality"? The only verse I am aware of that could be considered close to that claim is 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. Which verses specifically mention premarital sex as being labeled a sin by God? :scratch:
  15. Zipster

    Zipster Captain Controversy Staff Member

    Truthfully, not even the above scripture explicitly talks about premarital sex, though it certainly can be inferred from the text. As it is, though, the Bible never really refers to things beyond the illusive term, "sexual immorality."

    This term has been thrown around quite a lot over the years, so one must be careful with it's usage. During the medieval period, the Church had deemed sex to be something for procreation only, and was not something to indulge in, or really even enjoy. They deemed anything outside of their narrow view of sex as "sexual immorality."

    The point is that one must seriously think about the term, and not simply go by what others have told you it means.
  16. Jemima

    Jemima New Member

    To me kissing isnt a sin and I don't think it would be to God either.
    If it happens to go further than a kiss , this is when it could enter into sin.
    Remove yourself for situations were temptation could occur.
    Remember , God is an understanding God and our creator.He created us to kiss and to love , but he also created rules and guidelines to go with it.:smile:


    I totally agree with you. :smile: Kissing and premarital sex are completely different! Imagine having a conversation with God up in heaven. I don't believe that he would say kissing is sinful. Not at all.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 4, 2012
  17. dreamergirl818

    dreamergirl818 God's Child

    Deuteronomy 22:28-29 "If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days."

    I think this is a close enough description of sexual immorality. Now, this passage particularly is talking about a situation where a girl is not willingly a part of action, but still, this chapter address other points of sexual immorality.

    In truth, we don't need a specific definition of this. Everyone knows what this is. God wrote His law on our hearts. To say that we don't know what this means is ridiculous.

    I have never heard of an instance where a couple had problems because one of them had kissed someone else before, and I have known MANY couples who did not save their first kiss. My mom's first kiss was not will my dad, and I know she never gave it a second thought. She didn't view it as anything special because it was not something that she shared with him. both of them were pure when they married, and their relationship certainly has not suffered because of that kiss!

    If you are tempted to long for more when you kiss, then yes, you should stay away from it. Never play with temptation. That's the most dangerous game you can ever play. But don't condemn others who are able to kiss without falling into sin.

    To God be all glory!
    Elizabeth
  18. CadillacCowboy

    CadillacCowboy New Member

    It sounds like you are reading between the lines in order to find something that was never there. Who are you to say I'm condemning others by saying I have interpreted the scripture to mean something different than you?:rolleyes: I personally have never attempted to please anyone since I know I have an audience of one in Jesus. Nothing else is as remotely important to me and I have no desire to examine the life of you or anyone else who engages in acts I consider promiscuous.

    Your verse, in the context of its accompanying chapter, does not even come close to defining "sexual immorality" and just about every scholar would admit that it isn't ever defined. We accept certain traditional expectations but, it is foolish to assume that our standards may not be accurate or to the extent the creator has desired.
  19. dreamergirl818

    dreamergirl818 God's Child

    I never said that you were condemning people for it; I merely posted that as a gentle reminder, because your post did seem a little on the condemning side. If that was not your intent, then I was in error, but that does not change what I said as being true: it is wrong to condemn others for having a different conviction.

    True, the verse does not give a blow by blow description, but I think almost anyone could tell you that when it talks about a man lying with a woman, it isn't referring to just falling asleep. It's talking about sex, something that would warrant stoning. If you strongly feel that kissing will lead to this, then by all means, abstain from it. I have said this before, and I will continue to say it. I, on the other hand, have known my good Christians who kissed before marriage, and they did not fall into sin. Lumping kissing into the category as sexual immorality is not right, because it does not always lead to this. This may not be what you're doing, but my impression from your post is that this is how you view kissing. I have never known anyone who felt a huge burden of guilt because they kissed someone, but I know of many instances where someone felt terribly guilty from a sexual sin.

    To God be all glory!
    Elizabeth
  20. Damaris

    Damaris Lovely Lady Staff Member

    I decided of my own personal conviction not to kiss until marriage; see my post about it here.

    However I also have some logic on the subject that I'd like to throw out there as food for thought.

    As Zips noted earlier in the thread, the Bible never explicitly defines sexual immorality. But since it does specifically say we should avoid it, in fact, that there should be "not even a hint" of it among us, defining sexual immorality seems to be pretty important.

    Here's what makes the most sense to me: limiting it to the physical and involving another person, sexual immorality is partaking in any action with another person you are not currently married to that you wouldn't do with your own brother or sister or mother.

    I've tried that definition with a lot of hypothetical scenarios and it works pretty well. Even kissing isn't completely excluded - some cultures include a kiss on the cheek as a customary greeting, or even on the lips if you are close relatives or friends. Paul even urges several of the New Testament churches to "greet one another with a holy kiss"!

    Wait, we aren't talking about that kind of kissing? :lol:

    Why would it be wrong to kiss your sibling or your grandma in an involved manner? My answer would be that there is a sexual component to any romantic kissing. It's the kind of kissing that's clearly only appropriate as a joining between two people who are romantically involved. Under this reasoning, doing so outside of marriage would logically fall under sexual immorality, or at the very least a "hint" of it.

    Thoughts?

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